Missing People Over the Holidays

With November coming to a close, holiday cheer is ramping up…for some. However, at this time of year many individuals experience complex emotions (when missing people) that are less socially accepted.

Missing People Brings Up Emotions

Expressions of anger, sadness, & grief in particular, receive a bad “wrap” (pun intended), and are often encouraged to stay hidden below the copious amount of seasonal décor. At the same time, trying to force a hallmark “happy holiday” demeanor, to avoid the label of Scrooge or the Grinch, can be exhausting.

I think it is ok if it isn’t a “happy holiday”, and we need to create space for ourselves and others to be authentic and feel whatever comes up. However, creating room for this does not mean tolerating poor behaviour (I’ll speak more to that in my next post). It only means understanding and accepting that others may not share how we experience the holidays.

There are endless reasons for emotions to surface. One is that the holidays can activate feelings of missing people. Perhaps it’s a past partner, family member, friend. Moreover, these feelings can become especially confusing when they involve people who are no longer welcome in our lives.

Regardless of your particular situation, missing people, when we are missing people it’s typically because we are trying to connect with a feeling.

I would encourage you to reflect on this: What feeling did this missing person help you connect with? Was it feeling connected, valued, certain, loved, desired, safe, seen, heard, understood etc.?

“Missing” is often regarded as a negative experience. Yet, it is really our body’s way of sending a message to remind us that something is important to us. When this embodied wisdom is acknowledged we can reap the benefits.

Knowing what feelings missing people can drive us can be the perfect way to enhance motivation, build a life we love, and generally get our needs met. Further, the more we do what is aligned with our authentic self, the more opportunities we have to receive these feelings in the future.

With gratitude,


About OCP

Ontario Counselling and Psychotherapy is a group of psychotherapists and social workers in Ottawa, Cornwall, Toronto (and soon other cities in Ontario) who offer expertise in a variety of mental health areas and believe in an integrated approach to counselling. We work with you and pride ourselves in creating a strong relationship with our clients by ensuring that we are a good fit to help you attain your therapy goals. We offer individual, couple, family and child psychotherapy to clients all over Ontario.

We invite you to explore our site and contact the therapist of your choice. You will find our contact information under “Our therapists” tab. If you are unsure, call the centre at (613) 699-0060 or email at ocp.therapyinfo@gmail.com, and we will answer any questions you may have, direct you to a therapist, and, if you wish, set you up with one of our therapists.

We have grown! We started out as a small group of therapists in Ottawa, and we have expanded to the rest of Ontario. We offer virtual services for anyone in Ontario, and we have in-person offices in the Ottawa Region, Cornwall and the GTA. We also provide sessions at a reduced fee through our student intern program. Contact us to help you navigate our site or to set you up with one of our therapists!

Fees & insurance coverage

Our fees vary per therapist, and you will find what each therapist charges under “Our therapists” tab. Fees vary between $125/hr and $200/hr, depending on the therapist. Our services are not covered by OHIP, and our therapists don’t offer a sliding scale. We do, however, have Master level student interns who charge $80/hr and offer a sliding scale if needed.